Do you ever wonder if anyone remembers you? Are you the one that is easily forgotten? Put away in a little box at the back of peoples mind. I for one have always felt this way. I have always felt half- baked or partly recognised. I am the half of someone. My nose, my mouth, my hair and my mannerisms. I am half of a person gone. Is that the reason why? Am I unaware of the feeling I give people? The feeling of uncertainty. Do they mention these attributes or silently try to identify who I am. I often fade. Fade into the backgroud and find it hard to make my way out. I am a person that has to emphasis on their existence. Many people would think me loud or a person who has too much to say. I have always found it hard to find my place. Maybe it’s because I spent my childhood hiding under tables and beds trying not be seen. Maybe it’s because my sister was the one that needed the most attention. I have now stopped fighting with myself. I am me. I may be forgettable and quiet but I don’t live to be in the limelight. I am not destined to be a person who goes on stage and tells their problems to the world. I am the lighting woman, the woman that pulls the curtains at intermission and I am the person who is behind the scenes.
I am tired of this way of live though. I have been told that I am a natural born leader. I don’t know if that’s true or not. When on my own I do become a different person. I am the person who can get attention, the person that apparently inspires others. I am unaware of this ‘enticement’ I create. I don’t know who I am or why I am on this planet but I do know that I have to stop being hard on myself and open up to all the great things in life.