I have finally decided to publish my poems on my blog….these are things I write when I’m having a tough time. I call them my ‘angry at the world’ poems. Ok so no judging! I am new to this whole poem thing…there is no rhyming or repetition it’s just how I feel.
The darkness never leaves,
I am the darkness,
My body fights the cold, rain and snow but I do have my moments of sunshine.
The darkness surrounds me,
Rarely the blood soaks through
Rivers and streams,
Spider web shapes and gaping holes,
Empty and hollow, much like my soul.
People don’t know when darkness harbors the soul,
Like decaying bodies, the darkness eats away at the soul, unable to function it begins to die.
Slowly and painfully without dignity, wastes away.
You can’t feel, just indifference and emptiness,
You search for any anger or pain but it has finally run out,
Through the pores of your skin seeps hatred, corrupting any hopes or dreams.
The sickness accompanies comfort,
Unease and disgust,
I thought I could control it, become the person I always wanted to be.
I sit here and listen to the voices, past and present,
In the past I am comforted by words said lovingly,
The present feels distant and cold
I purge at the thoughts of human interaction,
Sickness and fear engulf me,
I am that little girl again
Afraid of failure and disappointment.
The stench of lies and bitterness,
It follows me through all walks of life making me incapable o open up or let anyone in,
I would like to cut out that part of me that dies at each interval.
I hate the feelings of vulnerability,
Open sores and salt,
Each one crisp and fresh,
Vomit my stomach up,
Feelings of incapability and stupidity.
That was the hardest thing I have ever written in this blog! I am now truly vulnerable! P.S I am 🙂